Foliotek Blog

How to Transform Ugly

So you’ve written your ID page introduction, and now you’re questioning whether or not it’s got what it takes to grab an employer’s attention. Perhaps you know your intro doesn’t make the cut, but you don’t know what to do next. If you can’t just sit down and write a super-awesome introduction from the beginning (like most of us!), write out what you can to start. Then read on to see how to take an introduction that is just downright ugly and transform it into something amazing.

Version 01. Let’s start with the ugly.

I am going to be an Architectural Engineer. I like colors and design. I am good at math. I travel a lot.

This ID Introduction has zero hook, but instead starts with a thesis. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the writer doesn’t elaborate other than stating characteristics of liking “colors and design” and being “good at math.” The sentences aren’t cohesive and don’t contribute to the whole. Although the introduction is simple, it is too simple and lacks any interest.

Helpful Hint: If your ID intro is currently ugly, the first step is to add in a little more information and sprinkle with detail.

Version 02. A bit better.

When I was little, I had a burnt pumpkin brick house. I told my mom that’s what it was. I like colors and design and see them everywhere I go. I’m excited to build new things all over the country.

While this introduction is better, it still isn’t very good. It has a short hook by beginning to tell the story, but this story is incomplete. Why is it important to know that the writer had a burnt pumpkin brick house? What is the relevance of this information and why do we need to know she told her mom this information? We can infer that the child told their mother the house color, but is it because her mother always burned pumpkin bread? There is no context to the information. A lot of people like colors and design, so why does this information set the writer apart? So she sees it wherever she goes … and? We are happy that she is excited about building, but why? What is she building? Why does she want to do this? Not only does this introduction leave the reader (or employer!) with a lot of questions, but it gives no thesis. We can only imagine what she wants to do with her life, but in an ID Introduction, we want to be straight forward.

Helpful Hint: To make your ID Intro great, tie it all together. Explain the hook and how it relates to your characteristics and thesis.

Version 03. Just right.

I first noticed that my childhood home was made of brick when I was five years old. At six, I told my mother that our house was Burnt Pumpkin Brick and not Red Brick. Since then, I have noticed details in color, line, and design everywhere I go. My attention to detail, passion for modern architecture, and desire to bring life to towns through design resonates deep. I am a future Architectural Engineer.

This ID Introduction has a hook that tells a story. The story isn’t random or irrelevant because it ties into the details this person was able to recognize at such a young age. The writer goes on to explain an admirable characteristic: her attention to detail. She explains that this attention to detail gives her a passion to create amazing architecture wherever she goes. She closes with a simple but straight forward goal: that she is going to be an architectural engineer. Her ID Intro is 404 characters. Could it be longer? Yes. Does it have to be? No. She gives us all of the components of a good introduction and doesn’t add any unnecessary ‘fluff’ in order to take up the whole page.
Hannah Stone Online Identity http://www.foliotek.me/hannahstone

Congratulations! You now know what it takes to write a good ID Introduction and how to transform your ugly introduction into a solid one. Want some more help?


Land Your Dream Job

Elon Musk Quote

Using Foliotek to Get Your Dream Job

Employers want to see more than just a list of your skills; they want to see evidence of your work. The combination of Foliotek’s Identity Page (ID Page) and Projects is a great way to create an online brand that can be used to market yourself to potential employers. On your ID Page, you can include all of the pertinent information from your resume (objective, work and school history, etc.), but this is only the first step. Take your brand to the next level and include projects to showcase artifacts and evidence that prove you can do everything listed on your resume. When creating your online identity, your introduction is the first thing employers will see. It needs to be a solid reflection of who you are and what makes you great.

Helpful Hint: Check out Foliotek for more information and how to get started.

What makes a solid introduction?

This is your chance to attract an employer by explaining what makes you unique. Think of it as your first impression; it needs to be upbeat, honest, and brief. It should be no more than 500 characters in length, including spaces. Don’t worry, the artifacts you include in your projects will provide all the details. To keep your introduction short, focus on a few genuine characteristics and follow the guidelines below to really wow a potential employer.

Helpful Hint: The above paragraph is 455 characters (or 3 ½ tweets!)

How do I write a solid introduction?

Hook

When you read a book or watch a pilot episode of a new TV series, you want to be captivated from the beginning. The same holds true for an employer searching for a new employee. Start your introduction with an interesting story that describes what makes you who you are today. You could even include a quote, interesting fact, or statistic and reveal how it relates to you. Whatever you do, make sure it is stimulating and will make the employer want to know more about you and what you can do.

Information

Explain your hook further. Describe how the story or quote from your hook is important to your life and provide a few personal attributes that prove you will make a good employee. Think about any skills you have that would translate into the work force. What about you shows your ability to lead or work well with others? How have you interacted with others in your community? How do you stay focused on a task when things go wrong?

Helpful Hint: Check out this article by Travis Bradberry on Forbes.com to see what makes a Truly Exceptional Employee:

Thesis

Finish your introduction with an authentic statement illustrating what you want out of life and why the path you are on will help you succeed. You’ve told your employer who you are and what makes you great. Now wrap it up, and in one sentence tell them what you will do with this greatness.

Musk, Elon. "We Are Looking for Hardcore Software Engineers. No Prior Experience with Cars Required. Please Include Code Sample or Link to Your Work." Twitter. Twitter, 20 Nov. 2015. Web. 03 Dec. 2015.